Is it really that long since I last posted? I must have something profound to say -but, sadly, no. The reason for this post is just pure, naked fear.
Out of the blue, a comment from Steve "Degsy" Degnan has got me in a panic. It may seem to you like a simple rejoinder to start blogging, but Degsy is a bonafide, pure-dead-brilliant, Glesga hard man. From The Gorbals. You just don't mess. If Degsy says "jump", you say "how high?".
What's that? Is he a big lad? Weeeelll.... a strapping 5'7" and, admittedly, he would finish a distant second to my garden rake in a two entrant Mr Universe contest. But he's from Glesga, dead hard and all that.
Well, ok - he does have a penchant for cous cous and humous, but that doesn't mean he isn't a cold-eyed killer. And, yes, if you're being pedantic, you're average Glesga hard man doesn't bring his salad-laden lunch to work in a hessian carry bag. Still, he's from The Gorbals.... you don't cross him unless you want to take a boat trip down the Clyde while he measures you up for a pair of concrete wellies.
So - Steve. Degsy. Please note that I have posted, and spare me from your broken-bottled wrath.
Oh, and pass the humous, there's a good chap......
Monday, 18 January 2010
Friday, 26 June 2009
Sometimes, the good guys do win
Well, one can scarecely give it credence - but middle bruv and me hammered father and baby bruv 7&6 (colloquially described by the older generation as a "dog licence").
I'd love to say it was a classic encounter, fought under an azure sky as we traded birdie for birdie. Unfortunately, it pee'd down for the first 6 holes before finally settling on mirky and miserable, with the latter phase coincidentally describing father's mood! And the golf... well, essentially my partner and I won on the basis that we somehow engineered it so that we were not pish at the same hole. And, of course, it helped that the more consistent golfer in the opposing pair might have had slightly more success putting through windmills and clowns' faces.
It also helped that our pair weren't bothered by a bit of rain, while father anguished about the weather for the whole round. In a sense, I felt stronger when I saw his shoulders slump as the rain intensified - there's nothing quite as inspiring as watching the opposition suffer. Or watching an opponent three putt 8 of the first 9 greens... using a putter that you sold him.
Anyhoo, it's just a stupid game, and we all laughed it off at the end. Well, sort of.... just don't mention the third hole....
I'd love to say it was a classic encounter, fought under an azure sky as we traded birdie for birdie. Unfortunately, it pee'd down for the first 6 holes before finally settling on mirky and miserable, with the latter phase coincidentally describing father's mood! And the golf... well, essentially my partner and I won on the basis that we somehow engineered it so that we were not pish at the same hole. And, of course, it helped that the more consistent golfer in the opposing pair might have had slightly more success putting through windmills and clowns' faces.
It also helped that our pair weren't bothered by a bit of rain, while father anguished about the weather for the whole round. In a sense, I felt stronger when I saw his shoulders slump as the rain intensified - there's nothing quite as inspiring as watching the opposition suffer. Or watching an opponent three putt 8 of the first 9 greens... using a putter that you sold him.
Anyhoo, it's just a stupid game, and we all laughed it off at the end. Well, sort of.... just don't mention the third hole....
Friday, 12 June 2009
Pain in Spain
Hola, amigos! Apologies for the Iberian whimsy, but The Stump is not long returned from the Costa Brava, and a 6 day (4 round) golfing holiday with a party of 15 (male) golfers.
I've submitted an article to http://www.golfmagic.com/ that describes the courses and rates them and the experience, so best have a look at that for the detail.
However, after incurring a sprained wrist / tendon damage in a football game at the start of April (my reflex one handed save from a point blank volley is worthy of highlight, one feels), I found myself less than 100% fit as I made my way to Spain - and with only one pain-riddled practice round under my belt this year as I left.
Suffice to say, the first three rounds were basically the worst of the last 5 or 6 years. I'm generally good at keeping things in perspective, but after a mauling on Day 2 at the hands of the beast they call PGA Catalunya, I was in a black mood and all set to give up the game. In fairness, to put it into context, I hadn't had a good round for nearly 18 months. and having turned 40 last year I was starting to wonder if I was now on a downward spiral.
However, as is often the case in golf, I managed to play some decent stuff on the last day. OK, I didn't score particularly well, but a bogey-bogey start after a start of 8 / 9's on the preceding 3 days was a massive morale booster.
Anyway, 3 of the 4 courses in Spain were good, so much to appreciate. However, even the good courses there can't hold a candle to the best courses in the UK & Ireland. As my Dad pointed out recently, there's a reason why thousands of international visitors make a golfing pilgrimmage to the UK each year, and that's essentially the quality of the courses.
Speaking of which, I'm off to Gleneageles (Kings) on Monday for our annual "Friendly" Family Foursomes (see earlier posts for reference to said contest). Despite an "iffy" weather forecast, I'm excited at the prospect of a return to Gleneagles after an absence of 3 years. There is no finer golfing venue in the UK, even allowing for the brutal indecency of the yawnsome PGA Centenary course. I haven't played the Kings since 2003 (I think), and I'm looking forward to the test. I still can't believe that the pro's can rip this course apart, as for the average amateur it is still a formidable test with tight fairways, penal bunkers and testing greens.
Anyway, here's hoping that my dodgy hand can get through 18 holes at the monarch of the glens, and that the forces of light can prevail against the forces of darkness. Although as my brother is my partner, there is a feeling that I'm perhaps in league with the Devil. Wish me luck....
I've submitted an article to http://www.golfmagic.com/ that describes the courses and rates them and the experience, so best have a look at that for the detail.
However, after incurring a sprained wrist / tendon damage in a football game at the start of April (my reflex one handed save from a point blank volley is worthy of highlight, one feels), I found myself less than 100% fit as I made my way to Spain - and with only one pain-riddled practice round under my belt this year as I left.
Suffice to say, the first three rounds were basically the worst of the last 5 or 6 years. I'm generally good at keeping things in perspective, but after a mauling on Day 2 at the hands of the beast they call PGA Catalunya, I was in a black mood and all set to give up the game. In fairness, to put it into context, I hadn't had a good round for nearly 18 months. and having turned 40 last year I was starting to wonder if I was now on a downward spiral.
However, as is often the case in golf, I managed to play some decent stuff on the last day. OK, I didn't score particularly well, but a bogey-bogey start after a start of 8 / 9's on the preceding 3 days was a massive morale booster.
Anyway, 3 of the 4 courses in Spain were good, so much to appreciate. However, even the good courses there can't hold a candle to the best courses in the UK & Ireland. As my Dad pointed out recently, there's a reason why thousands of international visitors make a golfing pilgrimmage to the UK each year, and that's essentially the quality of the courses.
Speaking of which, I'm off to Gleneageles (Kings) on Monday for our annual "Friendly" Family Foursomes (see earlier posts for reference to said contest). Despite an "iffy" weather forecast, I'm excited at the prospect of a return to Gleneagles after an absence of 3 years. There is no finer golfing venue in the UK, even allowing for the brutal indecency of the yawnsome PGA Centenary course. I haven't played the Kings since 2003 (I think), and I'm looking forward to the test. I still can't believe that the pro's can rip this course apart, as for the average amateur it is still a formidable test with tight fairways, penal bunkers and testing greens.
Anyway, here's hoping that my dodgy hand can get through 18 holes at the monarch of the glens, and that the forces of light can prevail against the forces of darkness. Although as my brother is my partner, there is a feeling that I'm perhaps in league with the Devil. Wish me luck....
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Missing, Presumed Apathetic
Apologies to all you followers of ITSLI (yes, I'm speaking to you, Malk), but it's been a busy period for The Stump and opportunities to bore a single digit audience have been few and far between.
Mainly, life has revolved around an attic conversion on our prestige 1980's end terrace. Terrified by the prospect of saddling ourselves with crippling debt (ooooh, how ironic, are you reading this Andy Hornby?), the option to upgrade what we have became ever more appealing. And now the work is complete... and the fun begins.
Yes, my friends, a horizonless future of painting looms before me. Much like the Forth Bridges, but without the threat of a messy death and political interference, it seems like a project with no end. Of course, it's not just the new rooms, although that has been work enough - it's the ensuing game of dominoes that is giving us grief.
You see, now that we (the adults) have moved upstairs, our daughter has moved into our old room. Which has to be painted lilac, like her old room. Which our eldest, a boy, is moving into. Despite his penchant for Torres / Berbatov hair bands (don't ask), it appears lilac is not in his top 10 of favourite colours. However, a bright and vivid orange is - so maybe it is a Forth Bridge political wrangle after all, as an 11th hour compromise deal will see one (small) wall painted a tasteful creamy orange, and the rest a creamy off-white number.
After that.. well, just the new stair, new landing, old landing, old stair and hall to go. I feel a bristle allergy coming on....
Mainly, life has revolved around an attic conversion on our prestige 1980's end terrace. Terrified by the prospect of saddling ourselves with crippling debt (ooooh, how ironic, are you reading this Andy Hornby?), the option to upgrade what we have became ever more appealing. And now the work is complete... and the fun begins.
Yes, my friends, a horizonless future of painting looms before me. Much like the Forth Bridges, but without the threat of a messy death and political interference, it seems like a project with no end. Of course, it's not just the new rooms, although that has been work enough - it's the ensuing game of dominoes that is giving us grief.
You see, now that we (the adults) have moved upstairs, our daughter has moved into our old room. Which has to be painted lilac, like her old room. Which our eldest, a boy, is moving into. Despite his penchant for Torres / Berbatov hair bands (don't ask), it appears lilac is not in his top 10 of favourite colours. However, a bright and vivid orange is - so maybe it is a Forth Bridge political wrangle after all, as an 11th hour compromise deal will see one (small) wall painted a tasteful creamy orange, and the rest a creamy off-white number.
After that.. well, just the new stair, new landing, old landing, old stair and hall to go. I feel a bristle allergy coming on....
Friday, 30 January 2009
So it is before the slopes of Celtic Manor that the doom of our time will be decided....
So... Monty it is then.
I've argued long and hard that Lyle was the man for the job - not necessarily because he's the best captain, but because it was a worthy honour for a man who achieved so much (Casey, Donald, Poulter et al don't even come close). To refuse his candidacy is effectively flicking two fingers to his standing and record. "Sorry, Sandy - you're too old mate, now f*** off" is as blunt a rebuke as was effectively dished out.
This is all effectively because the Euro's were "Faldoed" at the last Ryder Cup. Eeek, gasp, we lost - what went wrong? Er, must be the captain, as our players were the best (sound familiar? Ask Strange and Sutton). Oh, hang on... our captain was over 50... obviously out of touch. Ha, won't make that mistake again.
Enter Monty, stage left. He'll be a great captain, I'm sure of that. His strengths outweigh his weaknesses, and the latter are only evident when he fails as a player in individual comps. Even at Brookline, where Europe lost in controversial fashion and Monty was sickeningly abused, he kept his cool and his dignity.
But it doesn't change the fact - Lyle was shafted by a committee boasting one major between them, and that was Paul Lawrie's (no offence intended, Paul, but....). They should hang their collective heads in shame.
I've argued long and hard that Lyle was the man for the job - not necessarily because he's the best captain, but because it was a worthy honour for a man who achieved so much (Casey, Donald, Poulter et al don't even come close). To refuse his candidacy is effectively flicking two fingers to his standing and record. "Sorry, Sandy - you're too old mate, now f*** off" is as blunt a rebuke as was effectively dished out.
This is all effectively because the Euro's were "Faldoed" at the last Ryder Cup. Eeek, gasp, we lost - what went wrong? Er, must be the captain, as our players were the best (sound familiar? Ask Strange and Sutton). Oh, hang on... our captain was over 50... obviously out of touch. Ha, won't make that mistake again.
Enter Monty, stage left. He'll be a great captain, I'm sure of that. His strengths outweigh his weaknesses, and the latter are only evident when he fails as a player in individual comps. Even at Brookline, where Europe lost in controversial fashion and Monty was sickeningly abused, he kept his cool and his dignity.
But it doesn't change the fact - Lyle was shafted by a committee boasting one major between them, and that was Paul Lawrie's (no offence intended, Paul, but....). They should hang their collective heads in shame.
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Taxi for Torrance
Sam Torrance - icon, captain, marvelous commentator prone to overusing the word "marvelous", ambassador for Scotland, charismatic, and generally a purveyor of common sense.
Until now.
Seems Oor Sam has piped up and nailed his Woosnam colours to the mast in terms of 2010 Ryder Cup captaincy.
Nooooooo, please.... nooooo. Woosnam has had his "turn", he's a poor captain who got away with it in 2006 only because the US team that sallied forth from the land of the free will go down in history as their worst ever. I'd fancy my hamster to captain a team to victory against the combined might of Taylor, Henry, Johnson, et al.
As I've already written, it has to be Sandy. By all means, harness Sandy with Woosie or Langer as vice captain, I'd pretty much call that a dream ticket. But, please, don't insult Sandy by (a) overlooking his compelling credentials, and (b) appointing an accident waiting to happen in his stead.
If only the chair of the ET Players' Committe had a huge grudge against the wee Weslshman..... fingers crossed, eh?
Until now.
Seems Oor Sam has piped up and nailed his Woosnam colours to the mast in terms of 2010 Ryder Cup captaincy.
Nooooooo, please.... nooooo. Woosnam has had his "turn", he's a poor captain who got away with it in 2006 only because the US team that sallied forth from the land of the free will go down in history as their worst ever. I'd fancy my hamster to captain a team to victory against the combined might of Taylor, Henry, Johnson, et al.
As I've already written, it has to be Sandy. By all means, harness Sandy with Woosie or Langer as vice captain, I'd pretty much call that a dream ticket. But, please, don't insult Sandy by (a) overlooking his compelling credentials, and (b) appointing an accident waiting to happen in his stead.
If only the chair of the ET Players' Committe had a huge grudge against the wee Weslshman..... fingers crossed, eh?
Monday, 12 January 2009
Serendipity Strikes
So.... you're a fan of Michael Mann's "The Keep" (somebody must be); you've long been an admirer of German electronic instrumental outfit "Tangerine Dream"; and you've a soft spot for Raymond Briggs' "The Snowman".
Well, my friend, it's your lucky day!
Curiously omitted from the initial OST album, the end theme (TD's take on "Walking in the Air") can be found on an alternative version, free to download here -
http://rs219.rapidshare.com/files/49082751/he_keep_an_alternate_view_1983.rar
And if you can't wait / be bothered, try this....
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H5xMvgUuYR8
Quality.
Well, my friend, it's your lucky day!
Curiously omitted from the initial OST album, the end theme (TD's take on "Walking in the Air") can be found on an alternative version, free to download here -
http://rs219.rapidshare.com/files/49082751/he_keep_an_alternate_view_1983.rar
And if you can't wait / be bothered, try this....
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H5xMvgUuYR8
Quality.
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Olympic Golf? Rogge Off!
I'd always imagined it was just a joke, but apparently the golfing authorities are deadly serious in their intent to have golf included from the 2016 Olympics.
Showing a lack of imagination that, sadly, we have come to expect from these bodies, their "plan" is to run a 72 hole strokeplay Olympic golf tournament. So... just like 99% of all pro golf events.... how stimulating.
Putting aside my own personal feelings (apathy at best), we should consider this logically, and ask ourselves what golf would add to the Olympics.
As mentioned above, it will be a "standard" 72 hole event. Therefore... adds nothing.
Will a gold medal be the pinnacle of a golfer's career, its cachet greater than a major? I think not, therefore... adds nothing.
Will the top players from each country definitely play? Well, there's no prize money, and the Olympics fall in a congested period in the pro golf calendar -US PGA, Fedex / Race to Dubai (or whatever succeeds them), and the Ryder Cup all clash with the Olympic calendar. It's hard to imagine all the top players sacrificing success in these events for a dubious bauble, which means the field quality will likely be lower than the Majors, TPC, and WGC. Therefore... adds nothing.
If golf is to be included, then please let it be different from the average tour event. My suggestion - each country enters a "pair", playing alternate shot, with a two round stroke play qualifier providing eight teams for a knockout phase.
If only it were tomorrow.... Mickelson and Woods representing the USA. Now that would be worth watching.
Showing a lack of imagination that, sadly, we have come to expect from these bodies, their "plan" is to run a 72 hole strokeplay Olympic golf tournament. So... just like 99% of all pro golf events.... how stimulating.
Putting aside my own personal feelings (apathy at best), we should consider this logically, and ask ourselves what golf would add to the Olympics.
As mentioned above, it will be a "standard" 72 hole event. Therefore... adds nothing.
Will a gold medal be the pinnacle of a golfer's career, its cachet greater than a major? I think not, therefore... adds nothing.
Will the top players from each country definitely play? Well, there's no prize money, and the Olympics fall in a congested period in the pro golf calendar -US PGA, Fedex / Race to Dubai (or whatever succeeds them), and the Ryder Cup all clash with the Olympic calendar. It's hard to imagine all the top players sacrificing success in these events for a dubious bauble, which means the field quality will likely be lower than the Majors, TPC, and WGC. Therefore... adds nothing.
If golf is to be included, then please let it be different from the average tour event. My suggestion - each country enters a "pair", playing alternate shot, with a two round stroke play qualifier providing eight teams for a knockout phase.
If only it were tomorrow.... Mickelson and Woods representing the USA. Now that would be worth watching.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
